Having shot a moose, two hunters began dragging it by the tail to their pick up. On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure," the hunters said.
"Well boys, I think you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not by the tail."
"OK and thanks", said the hunters.
After about five minutes one hunter said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?"
"Yes, you are right," said the other hunter, " but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
What I got myself for my birthday
We had lunch with my two sisters to celebrate my birthday (belatedly) and afterward I got the enclosed pet (stuffed of course.) Am I crazy. Of course not!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
My Pictures from City Art Show
Here are three of the pictures I had in the 2nd Disability Art Exhibit hosted by my department - Department on Disability. This year I had over 60 artworks, compared to 25 last year, and it was a huge success. We also had an opening ceremony this year with 100-150 in attendance.
It took a lot of work but it was worth it. 19 artists, all persons with disabilities, showed art works including oils, acrylics, water colors, mixed media and metal work. It was spectacular.
One point was to show the general public that persons with disabilites have abilities and talents just like anyone else, and the second point was to encourage and inspire persons with disabilites to stretch and show off their talents.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Atheist in the Woods
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic tree!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge toward him. He looked over shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of th sky.
"You deny my existance for all these years, teach others that I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a believer in God?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a believer in God, but perhaps you could make the bear a believer in You."
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, and brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke "Please God bless this food I am about to receive from You, Amen."
"What majestic tree!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He saw a 7 foot grizzly bear charge toward him. He looked over shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!"
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of th sky.
"You deny my existance for all these years, teach others that I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I now to count you as a believer in God?"
The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a believer in God, but perhaps you could make the bear a believer in You."
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, and brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke "Please God bless this food I am about to receive from You, Amen."
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Old man and the bikers
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leather clad bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's coffee and he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate and then took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly got up, paid his bill and left the diner. Shortly after, one of the bikers said to the waitress, " Humph, not much of man was he?"
The waitress replied, " Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles."
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly got up, paid his bill and left the diner. Shortly after, one of the bikers said to the waitress, " Humph, not much of man was he?"
The waitress replied, " Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles."
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Another joke- Class photo
The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be when you are all grown up and can say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or ' That is Michael, he's a doctor.' "
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, " And there's the teacher, she's dead."
"Just think how nice it will be when you are all grown up and can say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or ' That is Michael, he's a doctor.' "
A small voice from the back of the room rang out, " And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Joke for the day
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. The doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try. It takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father."
So, the couple decided that they would try this. The doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said " I feel okay turn it up a lot more", so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said " why don't you just put it all on me cause I'm not feeling a thing."
The doctor warned them "this much could kill you if you are not prepared" and the husband replied "I am ready". The doctor turned the machine up to 100 % but the husband didn't feel a thing so they want home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mail man was dead on the front porch.
So, the couple decided that they would try this. The doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said " I feel okay turn it up a lot more", so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said " why don't you just put it all on me cause I'm not feeling a thing."
The doctor warned them "this much could kill you if you are not prepared" and the husband replied "I am ready". The doctor turned the machine up to 100 % but the husband didn't feel a thing so they want home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mail man was dead on the front porch.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Pictures at Gay Pride Festival in West Hollywood
Me at the Gay Pride Festival June 13,2009
Tony at Gay Pride Festival June 13, 2009
AA BIRTHDAY # 34
Tuesday, June 23rd I celebrated 34 years in AA. I took cakes at two meetings and one so far today and will take another today (Sunday) and one more on Monday. It is hard to believe I have been sober so long. I really didn't think I would last a year!
Jokes
Have you heard the one about the old man who was dying. He smelled cherry pie baking so he roused himself from bed and staggered into the kitchen. He was reaching for the pie when his wife swatted his hand away. "No," she barked. "That's for the funeral!"
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Definition
An ambassador is a person who, having failed to be elected to an office by the people, is given one by the Administration on condition that he leaves the county.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
More birthday pictures
Pictures from surprise birthday party at work. (I think they are going to do it every 70 years. lol)
Monday, April 6, 2009
Art work for my 70th birthday
They put this on the webside of my cancer support group - Lighting the Way for Cancer Support on proboards.com
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Heard at an AA meeting today
Don't blow another man's candle out to make yours brighter.
No running in the trudge lane.
God wouldn't drag me from the ocean and let me drown in a bathtub.
No running in the trudge lane.
God wouldn't drag me from the ocean and let me drown in a bathtub.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
More pictures of our dear Heidi
Here are more pictures of Heidi. She was having trouble breathing Wednesday morning and we took her to the animal hospital. They took x-rays and said she was in heart failure and that her lungs were filled with fluid, and that she was dying. I held her in my arms until they took her in to the other room to put her to sleep, since she was struggling unsuccessfully to breathe.
Our dear friend is gone
On Wednesday, Feb. 4th at 4:25 am our dear doggie and friend - Heidi - died. Her unconditional love and good spirits were our treasured gift from God for over 15 years. She will be greatly missed.
Monday, February 2, 2009
A Dog's Advice
If we took a dog's advice we would learn stuff like:
* When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
* Never pass up an opportunity to go for a joy ride.
* Take frequent naps.
* Always stretch before rising.
* Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
* When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
* No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout.
* Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
* Eat with gusto and enthusiasm, and stop when you have had enough.
*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
*Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Good News
Monday I had good news. I saw my doctor and got the results of the CT scan and x-rays, et al and I am still cancer free. It has now been just over a year since my Jan. 15, 2008 major surgery.
Today I watched the inauguration of President Obama and used several tissues. It was a beautiful ceremony and I have a lot of hope that he will undo the terrible things that Bush did. At least the most evil person who has ever been in powere in the United States - Bush - is now gone. One newscaster said that President Obama and Michelle watched Bushs helicopter leave the White House to make sure that he actually left!
Unfortunately the "Rev." Rick Warren was present and gave the invocation and it appears he was even a main speaker at a Martin Luther King ceremony in Atlanta. He looked like the redneck bigot he is. It sad to see a hater and bigot get recognition but I guess that some people are always willing to listen to the scum of the world. Look how Hitler got attention and look how the Aryan Nation and the Ku Klux Klan get attention. The one good thing is that the internet said that only about 10 people clapped for the "Rev." and that is a good sign.
SHERIDAN
Today I watched the inauguration of President Obama and used several tissues. It was a beautiful ceremony and I have a lot of hope that he will undo the terrible things that Bush did. At least the most evil person who has ever been in powere in the United States - Bush - is now gone. One newscaster said that President Obama and Michelle watched Bushs helicopter leave the White House to make sure that he actually left!
Unfortunately the "Rev." Rick Warren was present and gave the invocation and it appears he was even a main speaker at a Martin Luther King ceremony in Atlanta. He looked like the redneck bigot he is. It sad to see a hater and bigot get recognition but I guess that some people are always willing to listen to the scum of the world. Look how Hitler got attention and look how the Aryan Nation and the Ku Klux Klan get attention. The one good thing is that the internet said that only about 10 people clapped for the "Rev." and that is a good sign.
SHERIDAN
Saturday, January 10, 2009
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