Saturday, July 25, 2009

Old man and the bikers

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leather clad bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's coffee and he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate and then took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly got up, paid his bill and left the diner. Shortly after, one of the bikers said to the waitress, " Humph, not much of man was he?"

The waitress replied, " Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Another joke- Class photo

The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be when you are all grown up and can say 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer' or ' That is Michael, he's a doctor.' "

A small voice from the back of the room rang out, " And there's the teacher, she's dead."

Joke for the day

A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. The doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine that you might want to try. It takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives it to the father."

So, the couple decided that they would try this. The doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched from the mother to the father and the husband said " I feel okay turn it up a lot more", so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said " why don't you just put it all on me cause I'm not feeling a thing."

The doctor warned them "this much could kill you if you are not prepared" and the husband replied "I am ready". The doctor turned the machine up to 100 % but the husband didn't feel a thing so they want home happy with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mail man was dead on the front porch.